On platonic vs. romantic.

dearcoketalk:

Every guy I ever get really close to always seems to regard me as “just friends.” Shouldn’t it be the other way around? I mean, I don’t think I’m an unattractive girl. I’m cute, at the very least, I have honkin’ boobs, and I’m not unwilling to hook up. So what’s stopping all these guys from liking me? I don’t have bad personality, I’m not fat, and I’m not ugly, but it seems like that last few guy friends I’ve grown close to have been like, “I really like you wait jklol we’re just friends.” I’m sick of being lead on, and I’m sick of not getting any action.

How do I keep from getting lead on? More importantly, how do I keep from going into “just friends” territory?

Stop looking for boyfriends amongst your guy friends. Platonic relationships are different than romantic ones. They begin differently, they progress differently, and they sure as hell end differently.

It’s incredibly difficult and very rare to make an honest shift between platonic and romantic. It’s relationship alchemy.

You may think there’s a double standard here, but there isn’t. The friend zone is real for both genders. The only difference is that guys are more likely to fuck you if you’re in their friend zone — once. That’s probably what’s causing you such frustration.

In fact, the whole notion of “starting off as friends” is kind of bullshit. Most of the time when couples describe how they started off as friends, that’s not really true. Whether they admitted it or not, it had always been romantic, and the timing finally worked out.

If you want to keep from getting lead on, then stop kidding yourself. Every girl knows the difference between platonic and romantic. If he’s not interested in fucking you from day one, it’s platonic. It’s as simple as that.

II would normally never comment on this kind of thing, but I honestly cant believe Coketalk is peddling this kind of horseshit. Person in the letter - DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS ADVICE, IT IS SO AMAZINGLY WRONG.

As a matter of fact, this particular statement: “If he’s not interested in fucking you from day one, it’s platonic. It’s as simple as that.” might qualify as one of the most incorrect blanket assumptions ever made about men.

The male ‘friend zone’ is neither very large nor impermeable. If you think we find you attractive, you’re probably right.

You will eventually find that the problem here is likely that you aren’t being aggressive enough. It’s probably not the case that your friends don’t want you, it’s that they don’t find you approachable or aren’t interested enough to make it worth potentially getting shot down. The longer we’ve known you the harder it is to deal with potentially getting shot down.

I can’t explain why two women who might be equally appealing can have wildly different approachability levels but take my word for it.

Make bold moves when the men around you don’t and you’ll see this particular issue start to disappear.